Sunday, December 30, 2012


One more holiday season almost behind me.  What a mad rush, what an expensive mad rush.  What a crazy amount of time I spent cooking.  What a crazy amount of time I spent cleaning [and cleaning...and re-cleaning...and cleaning again!  My hands are cursing raw from the cleaning].  Yet, when all is said and done my children are happy, my blended family is happy, and it was a nice Christmas. Ok, [I have to do some complaining] in spite of having to move that creepy elf around every night, and then watch my son sadly say "good bye Jingle.  I will miss you" on Christmas Eve, and in spite of the millions of lies I had to tell him about that stinking elf.  And in spite of worrying that I didn't give enough, or I didn't buy enough for the kids, or that I didn't have enough time to wrap everything.  And in spite of not being able to work out/run at all, and in spite of not eating well at all.  And in spite of not following my dream to have everything done and being able to sit on the couch and watch Christmas movies.  It was a nice holiday season [hahaha...] And for the first year my Christmas tree is flourishing with minimal needles falling and I don't want to fling it out of the closest door already [thank you Bennies Tree Farm].

Now we forge ahead into 2013.  I LOVE changes.  The thrill of the unknown if very exciting.  Last year I made some plans for the 2012 year, not all happened but some did and for all that I accomplished I am grateful, and for all that I did not [curse it!] I will just try again this year.   Which brings me to my point of New Year Resolutions.  Do people still make resolutions?  I actually don't hear about it often anymore.  Or do people just keep it to themselves?

Following my tradition [ok, there is also something to be said for tradition and certainty] I resolve the following:  1. go to the doctor on a regular basis for check ups. 2. ask the doctor for help to quit my bad habits. 3. run another 1/2 marathon. 4. WRITE a book [this doesn't mean just a chapter. I promise you self, you can control your lack of attention]. 5. SAVE MONEY.  6. Well I don't think I will add a 6, maybe I will just stick with 5...that will keep it possible to complete. 

For those of you who don't make a resolution maybe you should.  It's not a bad idea to contemplate some things you would like to change and then try to change them.  I mean didn't Michael Jackson even have a song about changes??? Something about starting with the man in the mirror [that one is for you Kelly].  However, if you try and don't succeed it's not the end of the world.  I look at it like dieting.  If you have a bad day and finish off the bag of chips or eat just three more cookies, or eat just one more piece of pizza [ok, that's me I am talking about] then you just start over the next hour/day/ minute.  See how wonderful changes can be! 

Now that I have motivated you to change some bad habits or complete a desired goal [or at least put the idea in your mind] think about the feeling of accomplishment.  Then think about the reasons for not accomplishing it.  It works doesn't it?  The good out weighs the bad! 

So, Happy New Year!  Relish the possibilities of changes, and be excited to begin a new journey. 

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Good People?

I began this post a few weeks ago and never got to publish it.  I wasn't going to put into words how sad and hurt I was over the shootings in Connecticut.  Mostly because I can't even accurately describe my feelings...I deleted "sad and hurt" 3 times before deciding if those were the only words I could use.  However, I could never describe my own feelings  simply with words, yet I feel the need to express something, and so I tried my best.

During one of my evening runs I allowed my ipod songs to play through without skipping and shuffling through to my favorites.  One song I forgot I downloaded was Jack Johnson Good People.  This was the day of the tragic shootings in Connecticut. As a mental health provider in the school systems, as a mother, as a friend, as a person who loves children, as an aunt, as a human being this event made me sick, sad, horrified, helpless, hopeless, and just numb.  I am sure I am not alone with these feelings as our nation was grieving over this.  Since those events I have read and heard the debate about mental illness and gun control.  I watched our president tearful on national television and stating we need to change.  I have read and listened to people discuss " absence of God" and then I  read FB postings about wanting the shooter to rot in "hell".  I sat through speakers discussing what to do in the case of an emergency within the schools.  I have pondered in my own mind what could I do to help the kids in the classrooms I am in if something like that were to happen.  I have cried, I have cried, I have prayed, I have cried. 

So, back to the song...the words rang in my ears, for anyone who hasn't listened to the song listen to it.  Where have the good people gone?  [my thoughts at first] and then as one last stitch effort to find the good within I began to watch the heroic instances of the teachers and first responders and parents involved.  And then I prayed again.  I prayed for all of them.  And I prayed for myself and my family, I prayed I would be able to see some good in mankind and find a way to enter a classroom on Monday and not feel worried or at least appear worried.  I prayed for help.  And guess what?  Once again GOD IS.  I was out of town on Saturday when my oldest son called frantically upset that he lost his wallet.  A wallet holding his social security card and his entire savings.  He closed the account.  I assured him we would take care of it.  I admit I was upset [ ok, how the curse did he loose that wallet.  How could he be so irresponsible? my internal thoughts].  And then a few hours later he called me back.  This time I could hear the happiness, "mom the police called and a man walking his dog found my wallet and returned it to the police.  I picked it up and everything is in it".  Here it was, God is.  My answer.  The good people are right here.  The good people are everywhere, however, we don't always see the good people.  To me this man should have been on the news, praised for his honesty, praised for his kindness, praised for his moral sense of right and wrong.  However, I don't even know who this man is.  Making it even more important, he returned the wallet because it was the right thing to do.  [Amen.]

My opinion on gun control, my opinion on mental illness, my opinion on the shooter, my opinion on school safety, my opinion on religion in schools...won't be stated here.  What I can say is this, we all agree we need some kind of change.  We all agree this change needs to be immediate.  HOW??? is the question.   I wish I knew the answer. If I did I would be a miracle worker instead of just a social worker...[lol] My way of making change is going to be in my home and with the people I encounter everyday.  What if we all just start in our homes?  Let's just start with working on showing our families how to do the right thing because it's the right thing.  If we find money, return it.  Hold a door open while walking into a store/restaurant/place of business for the person behind you, if someone drops something bend down and help pick it up, say "please" and "thank you",  acknowledge good things others do even just by saying "good job" and "thank you". 

Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.  I know it won't change the world and free us from all the terrible things in life but  just maybe it will make a difference even on a small level.  We all have the potential to be "good people" and sometimes we just might need a little help seeing it.  Help everyone see it.  Live up to your potential.