Saturday, October 29, 2011


Trick or Treat??? In my area Halloween is celebrated by dressing in costume, going door to door and singing or telling a joke. It is often customary for the person who answers the door to say " what do you do"? Meaning -  sing, tell a joke, or something like that to the child or children who are knocking. Also, people "round here" call this "trick or treating". I didn't realize that people outside of my town did not do this until my sister married someone from outside of this area and he pointed out that he never did this. I was shocked! He never had to tell a joke or sing a song, he just rang the bell, got the candy and left. And as I write this it reminded me that as a child we actually didn't have the option of telling a joke, it was based purely on our musical talents, yes--we only had the option of singing. Also, thinking about it, I HATED Singing...I was nervous at each door. My best friend [Stacy] and I would often go together and I would kind of step back and let her take the lead. However, I still think it's fun to ask kids "what do you do"? Hey, I had to work for the candy, and why kill a tradition?

I have often referred to Halloween as my favorite holiday. I love the holiday. It's fun, it promotes family time, it gives adults a reason to be kids again. So, why don't I dress up??? I don't know? I always feel like I have to be going out to a party, or having a party. I want to dress up! Yet, I can't seem to get past my witches hat and black turtle neck. However, I do purchase different hat's. And once I even put on false eyelashes. I even wear black eye makeup. That's as far as it goes. Every year, I am a witch [my family might say that I only wear the hat once a year and that I am a witch everyday]. That's ok. If being a witch is my identity, so be it, I like things a certain way in my home and if that makes me a witch, OK...[just a little witchy attitude there]. I guess maybe my witches outfit is my own tradition. It's easy, it takes a few minutes to throw the hat on, and it leaves me time to get my son ready. I guess I AM A WITCH...

So for this post I don't have any spectacular meaning, not yet anyway. Just wanted to say enjoy your trick or treating. Enjoy your candy and dress if you want!!!

P.S. Here are some jokes to pass on for the holiday...[yeah, they are all about witches..and they are funny. esp. for kids and people like me]

Who won the witches beauty contest?  No BODY.

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?  They are afaird of flying off the handle.

What do witches put on their hair? Scare Spray.

How do you make a witch itch?  take away her W.            

Here is a great legend to share..Esp. if you are like me and wonder why the heck we carve pumpkins??? 

The Legend of "Stingy Jack"

People have been making jack-o'-lanterns at Halloween for centuries. The practice originated from an Irish myth about a man nicknamed "Stingy Jack." According to the story, Stingy Jack invited the Devil to have a drink with him. True to his name, Stingy Jack didn't want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the Devil to turn himself into a coin that Jack could use to buy their drinks. Once the Devil did so, Jack decided to keep the money and put it into his pocket next to a silver cross, which prevented the Devil from changing back into his original form. Jack eventually freed the Devil, under the condition that he would not bother Jack for one year and that, should Jack die, he would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack again tricked the Devil into climbing into a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While he was up in the tree, Jack carved a sign of the cross into the tree's bark so that the Devil could not come down until the Devil promised Jack not to bother him for ten more years.
Soon after, Jack died. As the legend goes, God would not allow such an unsavory figure into heaven. The Devil, upset by the trick Jack had played on him and keeping his word not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack into hell. He sent Jack off into the dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal into a carved-out turnip and has been roaming the Earth with ever since. The Irish began to refer to this ghostly figure as "Jack of the Lantern," and then, simply "Jack O'Lantern."
In Ireland and Scotland, people began to make their own versions of Jack's lanterns by carving scary faces into turnips or potatoes and placing them into windows or near doors to frighten away Stingy Jack and other wandering evil spirits. In England, large beets are used. Immigrants from these countries brought the jack o'lantern tradition with them when they came to the United States. They soon found that pumpkins, a fruit native to America, make perfect jack-o'-lanterns.[ taken from]

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I missed it.

What a nice weekend I had! It was a kid free weekend and my fiance and I took advantage of our time together. We had a great weekend! We shopped, we ate, we watched reality television shows [ok, I LOVE Kim Kardashian, I can't help it!!] we napped, we hung out with our friends at a benefit for our town library. However, of course there were a few moments through this weekend that I did feel Fit To Be Tied...

Where to begin. Well first, I made it to this really cool warehouse sale for UBU clothes. Got amazing deals. And can't wait until this weekend because I just got an email notification that they are having another sale this weekend. So, after rummaging through about 100 or more jackets, I found 2 in a size that fit almost perfectly. That was my first moment of "come on" when I realized that the only size they had in the entire sale was too big. But that won't stop me from going back, [I love the hunt of a good bargain].

Second, we ate at a nice restaurant that I had not been too yet. The food was good, however, we waited a crazy long time to eat. While eating we had some wine, so that made things a bit easier to deal with. Yet, while waiting I noticed a fruit fly swarming around me. I hit it away. It came back. I hit it away. It came back. Third swat, and a swig of wine. Just then, I felt something by my nose. I put my wine glass back on the table, looked down, and there it was. O' yes, the fruit fly had flown directly into my wine glass [curse, curse, cure, REALLY AGAIN!] So, it wasn't a bee this time. It was a fruit fly.

Third, my youngest son lost his last football game of the season. I am truthfully one of those parents [of a child at the age 7] who advocates for not keeping score, for promoting having fun, for promoting learning the game free from pressure to win, and walking away from each game with the feeling of doing something as a team. HOWEVER, they do keep score. They do promote wins [by awarding trophies, play off games, Superbowl etc... yes even at age 7]. So week after week of practice and games, these poor kids did not win even one time. I felt so bad for them all. Of course I did not lead on that I felt this way, but I walked away [he was with his father this week end] feeling horrible. Horrible that I couldn't be with him, horrible that he was sad and I couldn't help, horrible that they even kept score, horrible that he felt defeated, horrible that he looked so sad, horrible that his father sent him in long underware (blue) instead of the cool matching Under Armour that I had purchased and sent for him to wear [maybe that one was a bit wrong to feel horrible over, but I did]. So later I made a call to him to see how he was. And guess what? He was fine. He didn't feel horrible at all. He felt proud that he made it through his first season, he felt "a little sad" that he would not play with his friends after practice three nights a week anymore, but he felt good because he can watch t.v. longer every night and not rush with his homework. These were his words. He felt good. Lesson to myself here...once again a child has taught me something, simplicity. If that fruit fly flew into his chocolate milk, I bet he would have laughed. I bet he would think it was funny that they fly into his drinks all the time. Simplicity.... It is truly something I need to learn more about.

I missed the point. I missed that whole point here. He did not. I often find myself doing things like that anymore. I am not sure if it is because my mind is so filled with schedules, planning, rushing. But whatever it was, I need to not miss it again. I over thought things. I missed the simple message. He accomplished something. He had fun. He likes football. So, that is enough for him. And me too. [ now that he pointed out the simple message here]. I learn from children every day. I am so lucky that they don't miss these simple messages. I am so lucky to learn from them., what a concept.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Laughing at my self... Hopefully I am teaching my children to do the same, esp. when things just aren't going as they should be.

Last night was my fiance's son's birthday. We ate at his restaurant of choice, the Buffet at the casino. Yeah!!! I HATE Buffet's, but for some reason my children and his LOVE them. So we enjoyed chicken, pasta, salad, 20 desserts or more, pizza, ribs, meats, pierogies, even potatoe pancakes. In reality the idea of getting to choose from all that is a great one. However, the food just isn't that good. And so many, many people touching the handles of everything, over eating, walking for your dinner. I just don't like it all. I always feel dirty afterwards. Anyway, we ate, we laughed, and I pretended it was the best dinner I ever had. He was happy and that is all that matters.

During dinner my younger son started his "bouncing", rolling on the booth, complaining, fidgeting in his seat. It drove me insane. I wanted to scream, but I didn't. I did try to correct it, and at that time, it didn't matter. So I pretended not to notice, and he had fun, and I guess that's all that matters.

After dinner and after the kids were in bed, we sat alone together in the living room to watch tv. I thought about the evening, and we laughed out loud about things that happened. It made me think, we need to laugh. We needed to find the good because sometimes it's hard to see. We are good in that way and often we find the positive [not always, it's not normal to do that all the time. I think...]

As a parent I often overlook and make the best of things. I think that's my job?? I don't always want to spend time at the buffet, or watching my son roll when he should be sitting and eating. But each thing we do together is a memory. And I need to make that memory the best it can be for my kids [ok, sometimes I fail miserably at this, but I do try]. Go make some good memories.... And feel free to post any here! I would love to read them.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Sometimes I often wonder how in the world I manage to maintain sanity while everything around me spins in a circle of inevitable and endless cycles of mayhem. I also often wonder if other people could experience some of the same daily trials and tribulations that I do? For example do other people wake up to find grieving men in an apple tree in the neighbor’s yard? Or, men with shovels walking through the neighbor’s yard "hunting for skunks"? [no I do not live in the country] How about while eating dinner (with one of my best friends for the first time in ages) while enjoying a Margareta fighting off a bee flying around our table, after I had about 3 sips the bee decides to jump in spend his last moments of life enjoying my same drink? [of course leading to me not being able to drink it anymore. Maybe in my twenties I would have scooped the bee out and chugged it down. But not anymore] O' how could I forget the day when I was making dinner and while boiling pasta I went to pick up the pot and the handle broke off and the pasta [still HOT] dumped all over my new shirt and pants and not only scalded me but stained my clothes? Then there is the airport story where this family was traveling to Disney for the first time and the mother was besides herself with fear and anxiety so of course she found some form of comfort in discussing her life with me and when all was said and done she offered me some of her anti-anxiety medication [again in my twenties I may have taken her up on her offer but not anymore...] And how can I forget about the auction that my ex-husband and I went to and were loading an antique stackable oak bookcase with glass door fronts into our vehicle and the MR man who just wanted to help, he wasn't looking for money or anything like that, he truly just wanted to help us. But with his help came his story of a troublesome youth, and talking consistently so he was not paying attention and almost smashed the shelves [my ex- pointed out to me that he believes I am a magnet of some sort for those who are seeking advice and conversation. Maybe?]

I also wonder if other people experience running into complete strangers in ANY situation, the grocery store, a restaurant, lines anywhere, amusement parks, my children's games, schools, air planes, church picnics, and suddenly strangers decide to tell me personal and often times private information regarding their lives. I mean I could tell you things about strangers that I should never know. There are the stories of past sexual experiences, stories of daily challenges, disabilities, what they ate for dinner the night before and where they ate it and with whom they shared it with, stories of household pets, children, and yes even bathroom stories which often include loose stool.[ I am not making this stuff up. It is all factual, maybe hard to believe but true!]

When I ask people about their opinions on my getting this information I hear things like " you have a kind face" or " you smile a lot and people take that as an invitation to approach you". Maybe they are right.

I often wonder if we were really placed on this earth for specific jobs and reasons. I am an MSW, and talking is my profession. Maybe it comes out in my daily life and people sense my willingness to help. Whatever the case, I have had some pretty interesting unprovoked conversations...

I titled this posting Bees, because it made me think about the bee the night I ate dinner with my friend. That bee would not leave me alone. It just kept at me, at our table, until finally it died in my drink [ I hope it got a good buzz on before it died]. Sometimes I feel like those around me are the bees. They just don't stop!!! They just won't give up until they get exactly what they want, and unfortunately, even if I am not ready or willing to assist I have too. Just like my drink that night, I could have moved it away from the bee and continued to swoosh it away, but I didn't. I sacrificed the drink to get it to stop!

I think I would miss the bees if they stopped coming around. I think I would miss the people if they stopped talking to me. I think I would miss the chaos if it weren't there. So, while I may need just a little time to myself, and I may have to sacrifice some things to get it, I don't think I would have it any other way. If you really stopped to think about it the things in life we complain about the most are the things that make our life the most interesting. So, while we all may need just a little break [ok, maybe more than a little break at times] it's nice to know that we serve a purpose, we hold something that others may find comfort in. A friend of mine has the most amazing little boy with an amazing sense of imagination, and he has begun to speak gibberish to her pretending it is another language. While I understand how it can be annoying to her after an hour or so, I can hear in her voice how humorous she finds it. And guess what she and I did the same thing as children. So, I tried it again after talking to him. And it's fun! Maybe we all need to just take some time to speak gibberish when chaos finds its way back around us! Laugh. Giggle. Speak gibberish. Learn another language, embrace those who seek our ear. After all, it is all in the way we perceive it. I am just saying...